It's a Cheesy Old Christmas Special, Danny Phantom
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: Jack and Maddie travel to the North Pole to prove whether Santa exists or not, with suprising results! Meanwhile Danny and Jazz throw a Christmas Eve party that gets way out of control. DXS and TXJ. Completed.
1. The Ham Show Christmas Special

_**Insane Guy of DOOM presents,**_

_**A Meat-Mania Studios production,**_

_**The Ham Show Christmas Special!**_

Two anthropomorphic hams sat in front of the classic Christmas time living room type area.

"Merry Christmas!" The ham said to the other ham.

"Yes. I love Christmas, especially the presents." The other piece of pork replied.

"But do you know what's even better than getting presents?"

"What could be better?" The ham asked skeptically.

"Giving presents of course! That's the spirit of Christmas!"

"Let's sings Christmas carols!"

"Great idea!" The two hams opened their ham mouths and each took in a deep breath of air so as to be able to swing the best, sweetest, most jolly Christmas carol ever when-

**WAIT A SECOND! This is the wrong story!**

Both the hams gasped in horror and made terrified ham noises. Then they-

**WRONG STORY! SORRY ABOUT THAT FOLKS, HERE'S "IT'S A CHEESY OLD CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, DANNY PHANTOM". **

Danny Fenton and Sam Manson walked into Fenton Works and sat down on the couch. Danny turned on the TV and the two started cuddling, not that they'd admit it. Danny put his arms behind his head a sighed peacefully.

"Ah, no ghost because of the truce, no school, for once nothing could ruin this moment…"

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA CLAUS!"

"LIAR!" Jack and Maddie Fenton yelled as they began their yearly "Santa's existence" fight. Sam face now wore a horrified expression; the Goth jumped off the couch and ran to the door.

"Sam, where are you going?" Danny asked.

"Sorry Danny, my injuries still haven't healed from last year. BYE!" Sam ran out the door and sprinted back to her house, ran inside, went up to her room and began to barricade the door. Jack and Maddie's Santa arguments can get pretty intense. A certain halfa was now fuming that apparently his parents would ruin yet another Christmas. His recent newly gained respect for the holidays was wavering drastically.

"Well if Santa doesn't exist how do you explain the cookies and milk I leave out for him always disappear?" Jack asked his wife in their heated argument.

"You eat them!" Maddie replied.

"Only once! And I was sleepwalking." Danny got between his parents, now he was fuming angry.

"IF YOU GUYS CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHETEHR SANTA'S REAL OR NOT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO THE NORTH POLE AND SEE IF HE'S THERE?!" The halfa then stormed up the stairs to his room and slammed the door.

"You know that's a pretty good idea!" Jack eyes lit up now that he had the perfect plan to prove Santa's existence.

"What? You're not suggesting we-"Jack wrapped his arm around Maddie and began to drag her to the Fenton RV.

"Yep, we're going to the North Pole!"

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Okie dokie everyone. There's chapter one. I'll need three reviews to update. Also who do you think will be right, Jack or Maddie? 


	2. Party Planning

Happy Holidays!

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"Kids! Come down here for a minute!" Maddie called to her offspring. A still angry Danny and an eggnog drinking Jazz descended the stairs. You see, Jazz gets a bit of an eggnog craze during the holidays.

"What?" The Fenton children asked, well Danny asked that, Jazz's "what" was muffled by her gulping down eggnog.

"Your mother and I are going to the North Pole to prove once and for all, that Santa IS REAL!" Jack explained, though the last yelling part was directed at Maddie.

"No. We're going to the North Pole to prove once and for all, that the ONLY THINGS THERE A POLAR BEARS AND SNOW!" Jack and Maddie immediately regained their composer and headed for the door.

"We should be back before Christmas. Now be good, Jazz you're in charge." Maddie then stared at her daughter, who didn't even hear her over the sound of eggnog being chugged down."On second thought, Danny, you're in charge."

"Bye kids!" Jack and Maddie waved goodbye and then went outside to the Fenton RV. Danny and Jazz watched it drive off. Then once they were both sure Jack and Maddie were truly gone Danny shut curtain and picked up the phone.

"Danny, what are you doing?" Jazz asked, having put the eggnog down since the noggy goodness was preventing her from breathing.

"We're going to throw the biggest Christmas Eve party ever!" Jazz of course looked shocked.

"DANNY! Do you know how much trouble we'd be in?!"

"Come on Jazz, this is a once a lifetime opportunity. ONCE IN A LIFETIME!" The halfa responded.

"I'm not sharing my eggnog." Jazz hugged the carton protectively against her chest.

"Fine by me. I'm gonna call all my friends, all the people I know and all the who don't like me but will still come because it's a party. After that you call all your friends."

"Friends?" Jazz asked with a confused look on her face.

"You know? The people you like who aren't related to you and you spend time with them?"

"Danny, I've got the only friend I need right here." Jazz rubbed the eggnog carton affectionately against her cheek. The Ghost Boy was of course, very disturbed. But that soon faded and he dialed up Tucker.

"Hey Tucker, Jazz and me are throwing a huge Christmas Eve party since my parents went to the North Pole to find Santa. Wanna come?"

"This isn't going to be like last year is it? My PDA never got over that." Tucker asked.

"I'm sure." Danny then added under his breath "Probably."

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing."

"I'll be right over."

"Okay, see you there." Danny hung up the phone and dialed Sam's number.

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MERRYCHRISTMASTOYOUMERRYCHRISTMASTOYOUTHATISVERYNICEOH

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Sam hid under the covers of her bed, trembling in fear. Hey, last Christmas was very emotionally scarring incident. Her arm nervously reached out and picked up the phone.

"Sam, would you like to come to my-"

"I'M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU PARENTS SEE IF A HUMAN CAN SURVIVE TRAVLEING IN A SLEIGH AT SUPER SONIC AGAIN!" The Goth yelled into the other end of the phone.

"Oh come on Sam, it wasn't that bad."

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Flashback

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Sam sat nervously in the life size replica of Santa's sleigh. Maddie strapped her in and got behind a glass wall.

"Okay Sam, you're going to prove that a human could survive traveling around the world, in a sleigh at super sonic speed." Jack explained.

"Can the human body even survive that?" Sam nervously asked.

"Probably not." Maddie replied.

"But we have the utmost confidence in you." Jack added. He then raised his large hand to a button that said "Santa Time!" and slammed his hand down upon it.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Jack yelled.

The roar of the giant fans creating winds of super sonic speed was so loud that everyone crouched down and covered their bleeding ears. Finally Jack managed to shut it off. When the two Fentons looked up Sam was no where to be found. But there was a fourteen year old Goth girl sized whole in the wall behind the sleigh and moans of extreme pain rang out from said whole. Danny ran into the room. Seeing Sam was not in the sleigh he frowned.

"Aww, I miss everything cool."

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End Flashback

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"Anyway my parents went to the North Pole so I'm throwing a huge Christmas Eve party!"

"I don't know Danny."

"Nothing bad will happen."

"You're sure? Nothing bad at all? No getting shot of a sleigh at super sonic speed? No getting mauled by reindeers?"  
"No, none of that. Just holiday fun." Sam went into a deep state of consideration. "And I have some mistletoe." Danny added slyly, followed by him making kissing noises. The Goth sighed.

"Fine. I'll come. But if anything goes wrong I'll, I'll, I'll get back you on that."

"Great. See you there. I love you." Danny hung up. Sam scowled, the halfa had used his most devious of tricks. He knew deep down inside Sam was a hopeless romantic, and well they ended their phone conversations with 'I love you's anyway, being a couple and all, the Goth just new Danny was using it to make her go. Meanwhile at the North Pole…

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Ooo! Evil Cliffhanger! I need another three updates to add chapter 3. The story will probably be about four or five chapters in all. 


	3. To The North Pole!

I know I only got one review for the last chapter. But here's the update anyways.

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Meanwhile in the North Pole… Jack and Maddie were stranded. The Fenton RV had run out of gas and now the two were wandering the frozen wastes.

"S-s-so cold!" Jack shivered, not even all his body fat was enough to keep the Ghost Fighter warm.

"Y-you'd think g-global warming w-would make the N-North P-Pole a little more h-hospitable!" Maddie commented. The two kept on wandering. Jack's vision was begining to blur and he felt strangely light headed.

"Jack? Jack! JACK!" Were the last things he heard before passing out.

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HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOLD

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Back at Fenton Works, Danny and Jazz's Christmas Eve party was in full swing. Everyone was acting wild and crazy and would surely end up on Santa's Naughty List next year for it. The doorbell rang and Danny went to answer it.

"Hi Sam. Glad you could make it." Sam smiled and handed him a present.

"Merry almost Christmas, Danny." The Goth said as she handed the unsurprisingly black and purple colored present to him. Danny muttered thanks and immediately began to open it. Sam immediately snatched it away.

"Oh-no you don't mister. You're not opening this until Christmas." Sam walked over to the Fenton's Christmas tree and deposited the present with the others. Danny walked up to his girlfriend and held his hand out.

"You're coat madam." He requested jokingly. Sam chuckled and handed him her coat. The halfa threw it onto Jazz, who was, of course chugging down more eggnog.

"AHH! I'M BLIND!" The kid-who-thinks-she's-an-adult yelled. Jazz ran around in circles and crashed into Tucker.

"Why the heck are you wearing a coat on your head?" Tucker asked his best friend's older sister as he pulled said garment off her head.

"Tucker… you saved me." Shockingly Jazz had a love struck look on her face. The techno geek began to inch away from Danny's now amorous sister. He creped up to Danny and whispered into his ear.

"Danny what's wrong with your sister? I think she just tried to kiss me!" Danny laughed and pulled out some photos.

"Jazz gets like this every year. She had too much eggnog, its great for blackmail." Danny held up a photo of Jazz dancing on the coffee table with a lampshade on her head and a carton of eggnog in her hand.

"What am I supposed to do?" Tucker asked.

"I have no idea. Here take my camera. If she does anything embarrassing get a good picture of it." Danny handed him the camera and walked away. Tucker felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped. He turned around and saw Jazz.

"Tucker, I never did thank you for saving me from that evil vision stealing coat." Jazz leaned in for a kiss.

"Uh, it was nothing. No thank yous are necessary. I'm gonna go upstairs." Tucker stammered. Jazz giggled.

"Upstairs?" Jazz wiggled her eyebrows. Tucker of course ran away and hid in the closet.

"It's okay Tucker, its okay. Danny will notice you're gone and get rid of Jazz any minute now." The techno geek said to himself.

"Why, I bet Danny's looking for me right now."

At that moment Danny was not looking for his best friend. Instead he and Sam were sitting on the couch kissing. Danny had been telling the truth when he said he had mistletoe. And at the rate the two lovebirds were kissing, Tucker would be in that closet for a long time.

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SANTASANTASANTASANTASANTASANTASANTASANTASANTASANTAWES

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Jack woke up and groaned. He looked around and saw Maddie sat next to him in a similar state.

"Where are we?" Maddie asked. The two looked around and saw they were in some kind of building. Everything was shades of red, green and white. There were rows upon rows of toys and most shocking of was that a large, fat man with a white beard, a red suit and very familiar hat stood before them. Maddie gasped.

"I don't believe it! Its-Its-Its-"She stammered.

"HOMER SIMPSON!" Jack finished. The fat man looked annoyed.

"I'm not Homer Simpson! I'm Santa Claus." He explained. Jack and Maddie looked confused. Awkward silence filled the room.

"Then why do you look like Homer Simpson?" Jack finally asked. Santa burst into laughter.

"Ho ho ho! You see, long ago, about sixty five million Earth years to be precise. I, a creature of pure jolliness, landed on you planet in a comet. Unfortunately this wiped out most of the life forms here. But once humans evolved I decided to make up for it by delivering presents each Christmas. I have had many names over the years, but the one that seems to have stuck with you earthlings is Santa Claus." The jolly man explained.

"So why do you look like Homer?" Jack interrupted.

"Don't interrupt! You see, because I am a creature of pure jolliness, my true form is much too jolly for mortals eyes to behold. So instead I simply assume a form their minds suggest. Apparently you two see me as Homer Simpson. I remember one kid who came here last year, he saw me as one of them orca whales. Ho ho ho!" Jack and Maddie's eyes winded in awe.

"So, this means that-that Santa is… real?!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Ha! IN YOUR FACE!" Jack and Santa replied. Then an elf that looked a lot like Bart Simpson snuck up behind Santa and shot a present at him with a sling shot.

"D'oh! Why you little...!" Santa chased the elf around his workshop. Eventually, the jolly man crashed into a large machine.

"Self destruct sequence activated. We will all die in 5… 4… 3… 2…"

"Oh-" Santa began.

"1."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

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Gasp another Cliffhanger! Will Jack and Maddie survive, will Tucker get out of the closet, and will Danny and Sam stop kissing long enough to realize the party's gotten way out of hand? Find out in the conclusion of It's a Cheesy Old Christmas Special, Danny Phantom. Coming as soon as I get a review. 


	4. Finale

And now the conclusion of: It's a Cheesy Old Christmas Special, Danny Phantom.

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"Jack? Jack! JACK!" Maddie's voice rang out. Jack groaned and slowly got up, finding himself back inside the Fenton RV.

"Huh? How'd we survive the explosion?" Maddie looked confused.

"What explosion? I woke up in the snow half frozen to death. We must have passed out. I dragged you back to the Fenton RV and found that we had… another tank of gas." The female ghost hunter chuckled nervously.

"You don't remember? Of course! The explosion must have erased your memory. Maddie, we went to Santa's workshop but he looked like Homer Simpson. And it turns out he's an alien made of pure jolliness! Then he accidentally blew us all up!" Maddie sighed.

"Honey, you were obviously dreaming."

"I WAS NOT!"

"WAS TO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TO!"

"WAS TO!"

"WAS NOT!"

Finally the two stopped arguing and Maddie began to drive them back to Fenton Works. Jack sat with his arms crossed and pouting. The obese man looked out the window and saw something. While to this day it is still argued on what Jack Fenton saw. To this day he claims that it was none other then Santa's sleigh, being pulled not by reindeer, but by pigs.

"Ho ho ho!" Echoed from the sleigh.

"Did you hear that?" Jack asked his wife.

"Hear what?"

"Never mind."

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MOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOOMOO!

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After several hours Jack and Maddie finally returned to Fenton Works. After parking the Fenton RV, they walked up to the door and unlocked it. The sight inside was one of pure horror. Broken furniture was everywhere, teenagers were dancing, eating, spilling punch or in Dash's case standing under a mistletoe and giving anyone who walked by a wedgie. Near the couch Danny and Sam were still kissing, completely oblivious to the surrounding mayhem. Jazz lay passed out of the floor, surrounded by cartons of eggnog.

"Its amazing that they can hold their breath that long." Star commented on Danny and Sam's physics defying kiss. Jack and Maddie were furious.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" They yelled. Everyone either froze, or tried run away.

"Everyone out!" Maddie yelled. Soon the only people remaining in the house were Jack, Maddie, Jazz and the two lovebirds who still didn't notice anything else.

"You too Sam." The Fenton mother added. Danny and Sam merely pointed to the mistletoe and resumed kissing.

"Can't argue with that." Jack replied.

"Jack!"

"What? Its tradition."

"Out now." Dejectedly, Sam walked out the door. A smile then appeared on Danny's face.

"Now I can open Sam's present!" The halfa ran to the Christmas tree and tore the wrapping paper of Sam's present to shreds. He found inside a slip of paper.

"Merry Christmas, Danny…" He read aloud. "I knew you would open this present before Christmas, so I've taken this opportunity to remind you it's the thought, not the present itself that counts. Love, Sam." The halfa frowned. And so the Fentons went to bed, eagerly awaiting tomorrow morning. Just as Danny was about to fall asleep we thought "Am I forgetting something?"

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"Hello! Hello? Anyone there? Danny?" Tucker nervously cried out from the closet. "Don't worry yourself. He'll be here any minute now…"

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A sleigh flew over head Fenton Works, pulled by what some would say reindeer, others would say pigs, and yet others would say some of them orca whales. But whatever they were one thing was certain. Whoever rode in the sleigh cried out,

"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!" The window of Sam's bedroom burst open and the Goth stuck her head out.

"AND HAPPY HANUKKAH!" She added.

"Shut up!" Santa then beamed her with snowball.

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And so ends this little Christmas story. I hope enjoyed reading it as much as I did thinking it up. 


End file.
